Family History Revised #2

"Family Circle" was a pointless organization within Grandma Bea's family which would organize events for the Spiegel family. They would have meetings every Wednesday night in the basement of Shloymee's bakery on 43rd Ave in Bensonhurting, Brooklyn. The whole family would sit in a circle on the floor to discuss events like "Breakfast at the Diner Two Doors Down from the Plaza Hotel" and "Herbie's Bar Mitzvah, Take Two." Grandma's father Sam got everyone to attend by bribing them with day old rugulah from the bakery upstairs. Everyone had a job at Family Circle. Grandma was appointed treasurer because she had received a B- in math at Queens Jewish Public High School #467. She was in charge of the $5 budget every month during 1939.

One day Grandma and and her friend Lila went to Coney Island. When Grandma ran out of her allowance money she remembered she had the treasury money from Family Circle in her cleavage. She kept it there because daddy said to put it somewhere dark where nobody would ever look for change. It took about eight minutes to get the money out of there. Eventually she pulled it out but it was sweaty and smelled like tongue. She also found an old Good & Plenty in there and popped it in her mouth.

Before they went on the rides they decided to eat lunch. Grandma ate nine or ten hot dogs, three ice cream sandwiches and a chocolate frozen banana. Lila had a four sticks of cotton candy and eleven packages of Chuckles. Then they rode the Cyclone and got sick. After that they decided to play the carnival game “Knock your Baby off the Brooklyn Bridge.” In this game there would be five plastic babies sitting on a ten foot replica of the Brooklyn Bridge with real brown water underneath. The point of the game was to throw baby bottles at the baby in front of you and knock your baby into the water. There were four babies and four players at a time. Whoever knocked their baby into the water first won the coveted “Coney Cone”--a calorie packed, monster ice cream cone that was topped with five scoops of ice cream and whole Hershey Bar. Herbie had once won the Coney Cone when he was only five but he sold it to another boy for fifteen cents.

Grandma sat in the seat in front of a baby wearing a blue dress. Lila sat in front of a baby wearing what looked like a white confirmation dress. Grandma said that was probably the Catholic baby from little Italy. Grandma and Lila both lost. The Catholic baby fell into the water anyway. Then Grandma heard a familiar voice. "You're in big trouble Beatty!" She turned around. It was her little brother Herbie. "I followed you." said Herbie. "I saw you take the Family Circle money out of your boobies. That was the money for the stuffed cabbage eating contest! Daddy is gonna rip you apart and feed you to the carp!"

That night was a Family Circle meeting. Grandma didn't have a plan for replacing the money. Before the meeting she quickly drew a counterfeit five dollar bill on the back of yesterday's butcher order receipt. When it was time to count the Family Circle funds, Grandma took out the fake five dollar bill and handed it to Sam who began to examine it. "Hmm..something is not right here." He held the bill up to the light. "In pastrami we trust? What the hell is this Beatty?" He turned the bill over and continued reading. "5 lbs pastrami, 43 lbs tongue, One 3 ft Salami. Beatty!!!!! Where's the money?!" "She blew it all at Coney Island" piped Herbie. "That's it Beatty! You are excommunicated from Family Circle forever! You are banned from all Family Circle events and forbidden to partake in all Family Circle delicacies! That includes the rugulah you have in your mouth right now! Spit it out Beatty! Spit it out!"