Angry Honey Bear

Angry Honey Bear
Looks at you when you drink tea
Looks at you when you are baking
Looks at you when are preparing for Rosh Hashana
You don’t know why he’s angry
Maybe its because he’s sticky
Oh, Angry Honey Bear
Why do you always wear that stupid yellow hat?

Global Warming? Not in this office.

They say there is something called global warming going on. The word "global" implies that it is occurring all over the globe. But here in this office on the 20th floor, I am really not feeling the effects of this warming thing. It's damn freezing in here!

I thought my body temp was supposed to be almost a hundred degrees. I should be sweating from myself. I should be able to cook an egg on me. My finger should sizzle when I touch my sexy little a**. But that is not the case. I am now the temperature of your common refrigerator and I could easily keep all your perishables nice and fresh for a few weeks, at least. Bring me your cartoons of milk and your leftover thai food. Place them in my arms and I will hug and keep them safe for you to eat.